trust yourself!: reflecting on 2025
and looking ahead to 2026
What a year!
2025 was a big year for me. So many people, places, and things. There was the new, the old, and even the new-old (I went through storage boxes to find keychains and charms from childhood for my bags. Some did not make the cut. Sorry to my Shaw mascot, who I hope is doing ok post Rogers-Shaw merger!!)
2025’s main arc was learning to trust myself again—or at least getting back on the path to that. It had gotten progressively more difficult to trust myself over the past few years—this, I knew, and felt the effects of through unending questioning of the decisions I made for myself. But one day this year, everything snapped into place and I was like: I really, really think I should trust myself. And I think I can.
One thing that helped build self-trust again was acknowledging that self-trust doesn’t mean getting everything right, having everything work out, or having no regrets. The compasses I use on a decision are (1) if it makes me feel like myself, and (2) if it was made with love and not fear. When those things have been true, the decision makes me more me. What I hope for, in trusting myself, is feeling like being more me is a good thing, and is in fact the whole point.
Another thing that helped, unfortunately (because it felt so corporate!), was setting a personal roadmap with a fixed timeline and executing on it without constantly questioning it. I told myself: set some goals in service of who you want to be. When you wonder if you should really be spending your time on [goal], tell yourself that you’ll revisit your roadmap at the end of the three-month period you’ve committed to, but for now, you need to keep delivering. You need to trust yourself.
The cycle was predictable. I’d think: what is the point of doing this? Should I really spend so much time and emotion on this? And then I’d respond: trust yourself!! This isn’t for a lifetime. One more month. Keep going! Productivity didn’t increase, but through demonstrating the courage to commit to some future self, I felt lighter and the future felt more possible.
I’m grateful for this opportunity I have to see what life looks like when I believe in myself. I’m thankful for everything and everyone that helped me get here. I know everything is cyclical for me and one day I’ll find myself in the pits again...but whether that’s today or years from now, at least I know I’ve climbed out before.
In 2026, I hope to keep thinking, but knowing I try to reason my way into 100% spiritual peace with my life despite this being something I’ve never been able to Reason into being, to catch myself thinking, break out of it, and do some more doing (and trusting) <3
To start off the new year, since the corporate-ification of my goals worked so disappointingly well last year, I wrote a visionary end-of-year 2026 recap journal entry to work back some medium-ambitious winter OKRs from, with a ~70% target completion rate because “if you accomplish all your OKRs, you need to think bigger.” At least in my personal life, I can call it “winter” and not Q1, reminding me that the year passes through seasons and so do I.
Here is a small window into my doc, P0 being the top priority and P2 being the lowest:
P0: 2026 Valentine’s Day website
P1: Hit my target 10K time
P2: Skate on a frozen natural body of water
Below the line for winter 2026: get really good at frying an egg (specifically, being able to consistently flip the egg without breaking the yolk)
Let’s see what happens!!
Finally, I am especially thankful for how much love I get to learn from. I live in awe of the kindness and thoughtfulness I encounter. I keep learning new ways to show care, and I fall short of this all the time, but I feel blessed to see just how many ways love can be expressed. Sometimes I even express this to myself! When I catch myself thinking I should move my bag from the middle of my bedroom floor lest I slip on it (and step on a plush capybara keychain in the process! Sorry, Copy!), when I wear brighter colours so I’ll be more visible crossing the street in the dark—that’s love, baby! And it’s all around me when I look for it. I hope “learn about love” is on every New Year’s “in” list for the rest of my life!
Thank you for being here!! Wishing you a wonderful start to your year wherever you are!!! Here’s to 2026 <3
I AM SO PROUD OF U! can't wait to be along for the journey of 2026 with you <3